Bad day...

Volcano has burst out finally. My limit has hit the maximum level. I have finally threw everything out of my heart today. I can stand whatever she said about me. But not when it involve dear. I will surely going to be punished by God for my rudeness. But I really cannot stand that anymore. I was just spoke out my mind. She apologized to me. But can I forget everything? Can I treat as nothing happen after she has dig a hole in my heart? Heart is bleeding. It is very painful. Tears also cannot stop flowing out.Dear ask me to control my mind, and not my mind control me. Everything seems very easy when we say it, but hard when we want to do it. Can anybody stand the pain like this? Who can really understand what I am feeling now if that person never face it before? What means sis's bf is good while my bf is lousy? How am I going to face dear? His parents treat me so nice and this is what he should get from my family? His parents must hate me if they found out this. He is also like a pearl in his parents' heart. Yet become just like a grass in front my family. They can step as they like? He is my bf. The time I together with him more than any of them do. Will they understand him more than I do? They are not fit to criticize him. I can be patient no matter what they say or scold about me. But the target can never be dear. He done nothing wrong. If not because of dear, I have gone worse. I have fought with them very long time ago. Why they did not see the good in dear, and simply judge him? I really feel so bad to dear. If he did not be an item with me, he need not to stand all this. I really feel so shameful to his parents. They treat me so nice, yet my family treat their precious son like nothing. My heart very painful...